Elusive Steinhatchee is ideal getaway
By Dorothy Smiljanich/Tampa Tribune

Area restaurants
Tips for the Trip

Locating this town on a map is a lot easier than actually finding it. On the map, start at Gainesville and go just about due west to the Gulf of Mexico. Right there, on the Taylor County coast about midway between Piney Point to the north and Bowlegs Point to the south, is teeny, tiny Steinhatchee, a proverbial dot on the map.
But that is just the unincorporated community of Steinhatchee on the map; the real Steinhatchee is more elusive. Consider its very name, said to be an Indian word meaning ``man's river'' or ``old man's river'' or something, no doubt, about a river and a man. The name looks simple enough if you take it slow, but it is not pronounced the way it looks. It's pronounced STEEN-hatch-ee. Don't worry about saying it wrong, though; many locals don't bother to correct visitors. Perhaps they are too polite. Perhaps they enjoy seeing visitors hoisted by their own petard in mispronouncing the name. Perhaps they don't give a hoot how it's pronounced.

The latter seems the likeliest explanation. Lots of folks in Steinhatchee seem to take things pretty much as they come. They do not appear to be sticklers for pointy-headed things such as pronunciation, instead saving their concern for important things such as weather, tides and whether - and where - the speckled trout are biting.

Primarily an opportunity to go fishing (fresh or salt, commercial or sport), watery Steinhatchee sits near the edge of the Gulf of Mexico and along the banks of the Steinhatchee River, a picturesque, undeveloped, 28-mile-long stream that drains a wide wetland in North Florida and empties into the Gulf at a spot ominously known in some quarters - and even on some maps - as Deadman Bay.

Steinhatchee doesn't have a readily identifiable downtown that we could find. It seems instead to be a collection of people and buildings - none of them too big or too new - strung mostly along the banks of the river. Estimates of its population range - with a shrug - from 500 to 1,500, and the fishing village seldom makes travel guides to Florida, not even the guides that specialize in places off the beaten track.

All of that might suggest that Steinhatchee is almost not a place at all, except that it is old, well-loved, picturesque and immortal in the annals of Florida drug smuggling (what with all those miles of remote coastline, fishing boats and fast, big bucks to be made in the dark of night).

It is also the ideal getaway for those in need of getting away from the madding crowd. We went there recently, spent a night, drove around, saw the fishing camps, the marinas, the mobile homes, the houses and the restaurants. We canoed on the Steinhatchee River, walked along what there is of a beach, ate at some good restaurants, found a nice antiques store and met some fine people, including one old-timer and one relative newcomer.

But what we remember is not so much a place as a feeling; what we brought back is not so much a picture as an impression, not so much a portrait as these snapshots: HAGEN'S COVE
Thousands, perhaps millions of fiddler crabs, veritable armies of the tiny crustaceans, run wildly before an advancing beachcomber. The tiny crabs are so thick in number that the earth itself seems to undulate as they sweep in waves, first this way, then that, in their frantic rush to escape the approaching figure.

They are the only things frantic and rushed at Hagen's Cove Recreation Area, a cleared patch of woods and beach on the Gulf of Mexico off County Road 361. If the words ``beach'' and ``Gulf of Mexico'' conjure an image of sparkling blue water rolling in waves over a wide, white, sandy beach, think again. This beach is wide, but it is wide and brown and fringed with sea grass, and it is lapped by smooth, brown water, teeming and rich with the co-mingling, life-giving currents of fresh water from the river and salt water from the Gulf.

Here, the shallow waters are said to drop only a foot for each mile out to sea. During scallop season, beachcombers with buckets walk so far out on the flats that they seem almost to have reached the horizon. Some appear almost to vanish over it.

Nearby, children splash in what may be a stream of fresh water channeling across the flats, while a raccoon moves stealthily from the woods toward a promising and overflowing trash can. Despite such trash cans and a few concrete pavilions, Hagen's Cove looks wild, unspoiled and free.

STEINHATCHEE LANDING
Dean Fowler has paddled the red canoe to the end of a creek off the Steinhatchee River. He drifts in shallow water, the limestone rock exposed beneath him, until the canoe rests against a thick growth of reeds beneath a shady canopy of green.

In a drawl not heard since Jimmy Carter left the White House, Fowler says, not once but twice, ``You can't get closer to nature than this.'' And he sounds pleased to be that close.

A Georgia businessman, Fowler first came to Steinhatchee in 1986 for the fishing. He came once a month for a year after that: ``I found this river to be so beautiful, and I had in mind - after reading `Cross Creek' and seeing the movie - I had in my mind to find a place in Florida.''

What Fowler eventually did was to assemble a 25-acre parcel of land along the banks of the river and develop eight of those acres into an attractive residential and resort community named Steinhatchee Landing, where he will sell you a house or rent you one. Although the houses feature modern conveniences, including central air conditioning and dishwashers, their architectural style was inspired by traditional Cracker houses. Design hallmarks include wood construction, wide porches, picket fences, tin roofs and high ceilings. The buildings are nestled under a canopy of old oaks, and the developer has worked hard to preserve much of the natural, wooded setting.

The small resort may sit smack in the middle of an essentially undeveloped rural area, but it boasts ample amenities, including a swimming pool, a tennis court, a children's play area with a fishing pond stocked with both fish and bamboo poles, a shuffleboard court, a stack of canoes and a rack of bicycles that guests can borrow without charge, a stable and corral in case they bring their own horses, and a vegetable and rose garden that Fowler planted and tends.

Although ample toys are thus provided for adults and children, Fowler reports - with some pride - that one couple did check out abruptly: ``Everything seemed fine when they checked in, but they came by the office that evening and said they were leaving. The wife said it was so quiet she couldn't sleep.''

Clearly, the Landing is a labor of love for Fowler, who now spends much of his time and energy on the banks of the river, despite roots, homes, family and business back in Georgia - all serious tugs on the heartstrings of a solid Southerner. But he says contentedly, ``This is a hands-on project, and I'm determined to make it work.''

AREA RESTAURANTS
The signs in the dining room of the good-natured Jolly Sailor Restaurant-Motel on the day we visit pretty much set the ambiance for dining in Steinhatchee:
``This isn't Burger King. You get it my way or you don't get it at all.''

``Husbands are proof that women can take a joke.''

``What don't you understand about NO?''

To the point, long on flavor, and moderately priced, to boot.

Breakfast at the Jolly Sailor, which also serves lunch and supper, is a serious matter. Watching calories or cholesterol would be a pity when faced with a hearty cheese omelet breakfast.

For dinner, we try Roy's, which overlooks the river at a picturesque point and which doesn't serve breakfast. The meal starts with a formidable salad bar, where the potato salad is renowned, and everything else is fine, including the fried mullet, crisp, tasty and fresh, and a basket full of hushpuppies. The prices are moderate and the view at Roy's is worth a million.

The town has other restaurants, of course, but, for a brief visit, the Jolly Sailor and Roy's more than suffice. Only a few restaurants in the Tampa Bay area are their match in quality and price.

Like most everything in Steinhatchee, they are stretched along Highway 51 and are within a stone's throw of each other.

ANTIQUES
Roderic Rae, who says folks just know him as Mr. Rae, sits in an upholstered chair on the open front porch of Something Special Inc. on the summer day that we visit and waits for customers. A 25-year resident of Steinhatchee, he used to own this antiques store, which is crowded with treasures and castoffs, but now he just manages it.

The store sits next door to the Jolly Sailor, and Mr. Rae wears a cap that identifies him as a member of the Jolly Sailor Breakfast Club. Sure enough: The morning we eat there, we see him having breakfast.

After we rummage around in the store and buy some old, handmade tools, we pause to visit for a minute on the front porch.

``What are you going to say about our town, honey?'' asks Mr. Rae, polite but interested.

I pause and think for a minute: ``That it's beautiful and that it's ... uh, well, very quiet.''

``We like it that way, honey,'' Mr. Rae says happily.

So, in conclusion: Steinhatchee, if you should be lucky enough to find it, is beautiful and ... uh, well, very quiet.

And they like it that way, honey.

TIPS FOR THE TRIP
HOW TO GET THERE
Steinhatchee is 200 or so miles northwest of Tampa. It took us approximately four hours to get there. Although the traffic is a nightmare from Clearwater to north of Crystal River, we took U.S. 19 up to Highway 51 at Tennille and then headed west on 51 for eight miles or so.

WHERE TO STAY
Among the options, one of the best is Steinhatchee Landing, where overnight rates begin at $75 for two people; $500 per week. Write Steinhatchee Landing, P.O. Box 789, Steinhatchee, Fla. 32359 or call (904) 498-3513.

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